Monday, May 14, 2012

Our hero slowed his chariot to a crawl as he pulled into the clearing and the home came into view. The journey here had been a long one. He'd seen parts of the countryside unknown to him before today. He'd seen many dirt and gravel roads not often traveled. The very path to this dwelling was heavily wooded and not clearly marked from the main road. He had passed it twice and twice turned his chariot back before he finally spotted the break in the thick brush and the narrow trail leading through. The one he had entrusted the navigation of this journey to was certain that they had arrived at their destination, but our hero was not. 
 
He slowly surveyed his surroundings. The trees and grass mattered not, nor did the path leading up to the front of the home. So he turned his attention to the house itself. He looked for anything out of place that might indicate that he was needed here, and then his eyes fell upon the windows. Every single one was open. He looked up at the summer sky. The sweltering heat of a midday sun drew the sweat from his brow. He smiled, "This is definitely the place." 
 
Our hero stepped from his chariot with the swagger of a man who knew the day would be his. He shouldered his armament, weapons he had used to vanquish countless foes.. weapons that glinted in the bright sunlight as he made his way up the path toward the front porch. 
 
But before he was halfway up the walk, he was stopped in his tracks. Ferocious barking pierced the calmness of the day. Our hero's hand instinctively tightened around one of the heavier weapons in his arsenal. But the barking had come from inside. Sensing our hero's approach, the beast was only alerting its masters to his presence. From inside he heard someone pull the animal away from the window, and then the tiny voices of children as they soothed and calmed it from its frenzied barking. Our hero loosened his grip on his weapon and slowly continued up the path. 
 
A moment later he was standing at the entrance. His heavy knock was followed by another round of furious barking from somewhere inside. But it quieted quickly this time. When the door finally swung open he was confronted with a mere shadow... the shadow of a man.. the visage of a man.. the remnants of a man beaten down... a man crumbling under.. a man who wore the unmistakable countenance of complete and utter DESPAIR.. a man trapped in a house with his children on a 95 degree day with a broken air conditioner.
 
But our hero spoke ... and everything changed, "Hi, I'm Andrew and I'm here to fix the a.c."
 
The man's desperate expression instantly turned to one of hope, as he replied .. "Oh thank God."
 

Thursday, February 16, 2012

IT GETS 60 MILES PER GALLON!!

    Tuesday night my wife and I decide to go out for dinner in Chattanooga. A much needed break with four young children. On the way, my cell phone rings and I've got a customer who just wants to ask me a "couple of questions" about the estimates I left with him. I go through the usual questions about quality, reliability, warranties, maintenance and so forth. When it comes to a new heat pump though, there is always one thing we land on, efficiency ratings. My wife and I are now making our way through rush hour traffic and I see her from the corner of my eye as she tenses up with envy in light of my impeccable driving skills. We get up to speed and settle into the well worn groove of the left lane, as do most multi-taskers. 
    I then go through the explanation of what all the different acronyms mean, what matters, what doesn't and what makes sense. As I often do, I explain what the SEER ratings mean. Much like gas mileage to a car the higher the SEER rating the better mileage it will get, therefore saving you money on the electric bill. I then go over the specifics of the quotes and try to give sound advise when it comes to getting the best unit for his house.
     My wife and I are now pulling off the interstate only to grind to a halt at the bottom of the exit ramp. I am held back in my seat as she uses her arm as a mechanical safety belt across my chest. Again she looks at me with adoration in light of my ability to stop within mere inches of the car ahead....(sarcasm). I then get deeply involved in explaining the operation of Carrier's newest marvel, the Greenspeed variable volume heat pump. Finding my way through downtown Chattanooga keeping a sharp eye out for anyone getting close to their car pulling out keys, this is a sure indicator of a parking spot about to be freed. The Carrier 20 SEER Infinity heat pump with Greenspeed technology has the highest efficiency ratings of any heat pump on the market today. It precisely matches the heating and cooling needs of the home and is able to deliver up to 13 HSPF. That is 29% higher than the nearest competitor. More amazing is that's 68% higher than a standard unit. This means the use of those costly auxiliary heaters is greatly reduced. Carriers Ideal humidity control provided by the Infinity thermostat is just one more part of this outstanding system. 
    Now deeply engrossed in explaining the variable speed compressor and its almost completely silent operation, I notice we have circled the restaurant several times. My wife of 16 years has developed an amazing way of communicating with me when she knows I won't make eye contact with her. I notice her attention being directed at the side of my face, wisely, I don't break. I realized I had made several passes of an open spot while paying more attention to explaining how the inverter works. We park and Beth makes a steady pace for the end of the line now bulging from the entry.
    I continued to explain every detail with more excitement as I went. A few minutes had passed and I noticed my wife's position was no longer visible from my sales arena. My customer is trying to piece together the flood of information I had just leveled on him and in an effort to simplify his question, he asked me "well... how many miles per gallon does it get?!?!" I just spent the last 40 minutes describing every screw placement of this machine to then realize it was all for not. You see the truth is, what everyone really wants to know is....how much MONEY is this THING going to save me. With all 20 years of experience, and in dealing with the most technologically advanced heating system on the market, all I could say was " it gets 60 miles per gallon!!!" Yes sir, professionalism at its best. One thing I have found is that you can talk all the percentages, seers and hspf"s you want. But at the end of the day you just need to know how many miles per gallon your system gets. Here is a short video that can do a much better job than me. Besides I have some making up to do. I sit down at the table and through purse, sarcastic lips my wife says "WELL............HOW MANY MILES PER GALLON DOES IT GET!?!?!"









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